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Am I Being Ignored?

Unfortunately, as a newly bereaved person, you may be perceived differently by those around you, perhaps even by friends. Everything is different now and people may not know how to react to you. They do not know what to say to you and they may worry you will become emotional and how would they tackle that? You may also remind them of what they most fear themselves: bereavement, the loss of the person closest to them. As a single person you may even be perceived by some as a threat.

While these reactions are perhaps natural they are also fundamentally self-centred and you deserve better. Yes, you may need to find some new directions in your life as a bereaved person, but you should be able to rely upon the support of people from your past as well. Yet there is no point in chastising them; perhaps you have even reacted similarly to others in the past.

A bold approach is the only option; you cannot afford to lose old friends and old contacts. Phone them up or go to their homes and tell them straight, but in a positive way: ‘I need your support’, ‘I am looking positively towards the future but I need to know you are there for me’, ‘can I make you some tea one day next week’ and difficult as it may be, try to avoid anything that appears negative or repeating yourself. Any friend or reasonable human being will accept your tears and offer comfort but they may be frightened off by too much negativity ‘I can’t go on’, ‘You don’t know how I feel’.

Foster these old relationships, try to offer them a smile and be proactive with your approach and your conversation.