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See through the mist of bereavement

A personal perspective by a Baptist Minister

One Sunday morning after church, my wife and I decided to visit Hengistbury Head near Christchurch. For those of you familiar with Hengistbury Head you will know just how beautiful it is with amazing views to the Isle of Wight, Christchurch Priory, Mudeford Quay and views all along the coast taking in Bournemouth and Old Harry Rock.

Well, this Sunday in particular my wife and I set off on a sunny morning with blue skies. However, when we arrived in the car park at Hengistbury Head a sea mist had rapidly descended. In fact, such was its density that we couldn't even see Hengistbury Head (a mass of headland!) let alone any of the spectacular views we had come to see. Undeterred, we decided to walk onto the Head, knowing that if we walked far enough, we would reach a row of beach huts and a cafe in which to have a drink.

Whilst having our drink, and very gradually the sun began to disperse the mist and the fog. After about twenty minutes, the heat from the sun had revealed once more the glorious views of Hengistbury Head that we knew were there, but the mist was hiding.

When we lose a loved one, our loss and bereavement can be like a mist or fog that settles upon our hearts, especially in the early days of bereavement. And that bereavement-mist can act like a barrier, preventing us from remembering our loved ones; remembering our love; remembering those special times. This can be very upsetting.

Can I encourage you? In time, the mist you feel upon your hearts in those early days of loss will give way. It will give way to the love you shared, and those special times that you had with a loved one. Your love and your memories will be like the sun. It will always be greater than the mist and the fog you now feel. I'm not saying your feelings of loss won't come back. They will. But, I want to assure you of this - your love will always be stronger.

My wife and I knew the views of Hengistbury were there. In spite of the mist, we just had to wait for the sun to shine once more.

John Taylor